Why You Must Go On A Trek Date Before Getting Married

Most couples who are thinking of getting married waste an enormous amount of time dating each other over expensive cups of coffee in the hope that they’ll get to know each other better.

I have bad news for you. You won’t.

In an artificial setting like a coffee shop, restaurant or a park, you only talk. Yet, we spend most of our married life doing things – making breakfast, going to office, sending the kids to school. And in doing these ordinary tasks we display our love, respect and consideration towards one other. It cements our bond and our marriage becomes stronger.

A trek date is an excellent way to check if your partner possesses the qualities to make a marriage work. On a long trek – preferably over 5-6 days – the mask of the city wears off quickly and the real person surfaces. It makes sense to keenly observe this real person.

bhrigulake-surendar-gupta-with-you-every-path-becomes-beautiful-exciting
The mountains take away your urban masks and give way to real connections.PC: Surendar Gupta

Here are a few pointers you could use

Grumpy or grateful?

A trek requires discipline in schedule, preparation and routine. So does life. Is your partner capable of sticking to the discipline of a trek? Does your partner complain? A Himalayan trek is not easy. If your partner finds fault with things – from the difficulty of the terrain, to the quality of food; to the conditions of your tent, to the transport used, your partner is a whiner. If you have a complaining partner, your life is going to be similar.

Going an extra mile

Does your partner cooperate? Like a trek, life is a series of co-operations – at home and work. If your partner cooperates with most situations, it speaks of a healthy mind and heart. Check if your partner volunteers for cooperative activities that does not directly benefit themselves, say in arranging the tent or packing  sleeping bags or getting tea for others. The more cooperative the partner, the safer is your future.

When life gives you lemons

Does your partner make the best of situations? On a trek, times will come when things go out of control. What does your partner do in such situations? Show frustration and complain or try to make the best of the situation? You need a life partner who can deal with bad situations in a cool and composed manner. A dose of humour is a bonus.

Socialising for good

Does your partner mingle and mix? When at camp, does your partner spend time talking with others and learning from them or does your partner like to be alone or sticks with you. All of us like to be left alone at times – but mingling with others is part of our social world. Partners who stick with you most of the time on a trek will either be a pain later or are faking it.

Actions speak louder than words

Does your partner show consideration to the world? Does your partner pick up fallen chocolate wrappers on the trek? Does your partner have a kind word and gesture towards the guides and porters? Does your partner address them with an “aap” rather than “tum“? Does your partner spend time with a trekker who is down? A considerate partner is far more important in life than a loving partner.

Being Self Sufficient

Does your partner ask people (however sweetly) to get things like tea, warm water, or dinner? It takes an effort to head to the kitchen for these things – but it also shows a human being who is self sufficient – someone who doesn’t order people around. A partner who orders is a menace for the future.

I hope these pointers will help you choose your partner wisely. Going on a “Trek Date” is a new way of seeing the most important person in your life. 

Trek dates are becoming increasingly popular among the urban youth. It is easy to see why. They help unmarried young men and women find life partners. They get to meet prospective partners and also check their compatibility in real life situations – something modern coffee shops don’t allow. 

Arjun Majumdar

Arjun Majumdar

An entrepreneur by profession and a trekker by passion, Arjun started Indiahikes in 2008. With a vision to explore and document new trails, solve problems in the mountains and implement sustainable ways of trekking, he leads Indiahikes, a community that has changed the face of trekking in India. He has written extensively for Discover India magazine and is a TedX speaker. Read Arjun's other articles. Watch Arjun's TedX talk. Watch Arjun speak about our trekking trails. Learn from Arjun about what it's like to work at Indiahikes.

31 thoughts on “Why You Must Go On A Trek Date Before Getting Married

  1. Amazing article… i am just waiting to find my life partner … i know it will happen on a trek and i wil find her though a trek itself:)

    Being understandable makes our trekkers know each other and respect ourselves:)

  2. This is what we did !!!
    Me and my husband did a trekk together 8 months before our marriage.It was a not only a memorable experience but we did learn a lot about each other.

  3. Although I’ve not gotten any chance till date, I’ve been asking my friends to the same before getting married since long time.

  4. That’s an interesting take and a different approach to know ones potential partner.. can say this will work cause in tough times your true self shows.. will share article with my singles friends

  5. This is worth trying out. I will definitely go on a trek date with my partner when I have one.
    A better option would be to find one on a Himalayan trek.

  6. Hey Arjun
    Such a nice article.
    Loved it.
    I too had fallen in love on the trek.
    But unfortunately it didn’t work out.
    Hope to get a new one soon

  7. Where are these girls, Arjun!!
    But on a serious note I find the girls very interesting who trek, alone or with partner/group. They surely exhibit that instinct of being supremely independent, flexible yet, confident.
    I advocate the same as shared in your story. Keep trekking and keep writing.

  8. I planned for trek date with my girlfriend.
    Booked a trek in second week of January 2018 but due to some unavoidable circumstances
    We got married in first week of January 2018 and trek date turned into an unconventional honeymoon.
    And I must say, when you travel/trek with your partner a special bond gets created which you can never create by going on a luxury trip or a dinner date in best restaurant in town.
    Trek taught us that happiness doesn’t depend on materialistic things.
    We now learned to live happily with bare minimum.

    Already completed more than 10 treks and still counting…
    Thank You IndiaHikes. 🙂

  9. It is probably too tempting for novice category of people. On a lighter note, it sounds like a fairy tale to trek enthusiasts. I will certainly love to go on such trek if I could find a companion.
    Good take on Valentine day’s brighter side.

  10. This is such a nice article. This seemed such a fantasy like they show in movies before but as you said it’s gonna be very important. A trek brings out the most vulnerable side of yours and easily takes your mask out. You are more of your natural self then. That’s when the other person can really understand who you are as a person. I so wish i can do this before saying yes to a marriage . Thanks for this

  11. That’s totally true. And I’m happy that I’ve done one. Tarsar Marsar was my trek date. And we’re looking forward to do more together.

  12. A very thoughtful thought indeed!! Being on a trek actually takes you on a self exploration journey, which you aren’t yourself aware of. It makes you stronger, braver, more independent and value the little things in life. A Trek Date would be perfect, but rather why not make it the other way round, find a Date/Life Partner on a Trek 😛

  13. Absolutely agree!
    I find it really funny when people claim to have become ‘best friends’ after just one trek, the reason being that anything good takes time to blossom and solidify, including relationships. Likewise, anything that’s rushed into is bound to witness problems cropping up sooner or later.
    However, I do feel that treks offer a great preface to a person’s personality. Facades don’t last beyond a certain point on a trek, so any first impression that isn’t genuine will crumble into bits and pieces. The real self does take over at some point or the other. I wholeheartedly agree to all the points mentioned above. I would like to add one more point to the list- you can also gauge how fair or biased a person is on a trek. For instance, there are people who will talk loudly and cause a nuisance to others(but strangely never seem to realize it). However, when they are in rest mode and someone else makes noise, these people start to get really mad. As the colloquial saying goes ‘Main karu to raas leela, aur kare to character dheela’. I have been on 2 Himalayan treks and encountered such people on both treks. Such people lack the capacity to objectively self-assess and are more often than not emotional ‘takers’ and ‘energy vampires’, when in relationships. Treks also help one gauge how judgemental a person is or isn’t and how limited a person’s world view is.

  14. Hi,
    You know when the trek leader asks us about the learnings from a trek on the last day. I realised on my first trek to Roopkund how a trek brings out the real personality of anyone. Since that day I have always told all my trek leaders that the biggest takeway of any trek for me is to find people who are genuinely nice and will stand by you through thick and thin.
    This article here is another lateral application of the same thought and I am glad you brought it out for all the readers.
    It’s also a lot of self discovery I believe. Like till my first trek, I never knew I could care for my friends like a mother at times . Force-feeding them when they are down with headaches, scolding them to layer up early etc. They call me “amma on trek” now. Thank you for taking me closer to me and helping me understand myself better. You are a doing a great job!

  15. All the comments above were positive, so here is a different take on it. Article is nice. But I wonder how much such a trip could contribute to finding out the real person. As Long as people know they are being evaluated, whatever the setting, they would never be the true self. It would be fantastic though to meet someone like minded on a trek and fall in love though. That could be a dream come true for any trekker!

  16. Excellent information provided Arjun.

    I was accompanied by my spouse on one my treks recently and now after reading your writing happy to share that he is one of the best.

    This article will help lot of young couples to Take decisions Regarding choosing their spouse

  17. Did that already by goin on indiahike treak only,but some people r very good at hiding their true colours but nonetheless..loved the experience goin on treak wth indiahikes..amazing experience ..my first treak of life n loved it wth indiahikes.

  18. Interesting read. Yes , a trek does throw you into challenges and surely would bring out the person one truly is. I’ve come across guys who could be great partners . I see them being thoughtful, helpful n empathetic all through and also the other way round where their good and cool facade comes crashing as the days of the trek increase. A good insight into the person but sadly I never got to go out on that date to the mountains.Its been a date with myself and the mountains always.So all u single ones,go for it . A great way to know the person.And all the happily married ones whose date has been at a coffee shop, no regrets too. The mountains give an insight into yourselves too. So happy trekking .

  19. Dear Arjun.,
    First of all thanks for this excellent article. I have been trekking for such a long time, Almost 40 years and I have travelled with my “Valentine”as well, but post marriage,but this thought never crossed my mind. A great discovery I must say. You will stay as a milestone simply for this idea in trekking history. Yes , this truly is a drill through which the new couple will smilingly can take over any challenge in life, Thanks from all of our trekking fraternity, “Arjun tussi great ho”.

  20. Experienced this first hand. Met my partner on a trek which went terribly wrong. Taught me about his strength,my strength and how well we worked as a team on a really bad day. Two stinky, tired, hungry individuals were put together and we still could laugh at ourselves and be merry.

  21. @Arjun, though the article is relatively old but it’s an awesome one. I absolutely agreed in this with you , Though it did happened exactly same with me, I went to trek with IH after I get married, but yes it really taught me a lot . Though we are not together anymore but I would cherish that memory

  22. She came to meet me in BLR and we thought let’s go on a trek! But unfortunately I selected the most sun soaked trek on one of the hottest days, but being the amazing girl she is (and hardened by Delhi heat!) she did not let it be known and we almost finished the trek on foot, finally reaching the top. Her attitude in adversity was so refreshing and heartening for me too!
    I hope to do a himalayan trek with her too 🙂

  23. Worked for us! My husband and I went on a self guided week long river “trek” in a canoe and decided to get married shortly after. Here is the trip https://www.blm.gov/programs/recreation/passes-and-permits/lotteries/utah/desolationgray
    That adventure required planning and execution, and was a beautiful, exciting week during which we saw almost no one. At one point I was so angry that I got out of the boat and walked. But we have been camping, hiking, backpacking and ski mountaineering ever since. I think what we saw, after all the travel and talk, was that we share many things including a deep love of the outdoors and of wild places.

  24. Dear Sir,
    It’s Unique thought i think. and now a days when young generation is more crazy about wandering, this thought must be tried for their best future.

    Thanks,
    With Regards

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